Poetry as Newspaper Page Editorial Piece (Personal Views): How To Solve A Problem Like Art Bell?

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How To Solve A Problem Like Art Bell?

by – Francess “Hindi Ko Na Dapat Apelyido Ito pero Nadekwat
kasi ng Grupong Diyos ay Trip Naming Maisahan, Kasuhan at Papilipit na Ma-Pilosopo ang
Pinadalang In His Time Para sa Akin na Pakakasalan ko” Raymundo aka Miss Francess Raval Salaysay Raymundo (Francess Raymundo)

What is there to solve? Art Bell is not a problem.

How to Solve a Problem Like the Philippines?

What is there to solve? The Philippines is not a problem.

How to Solve A Problem Like Art Bell?

Art Bell is not a problem. There is nothing to solve.

The Philippines is not a problem. There is nothing to solve.

How to Solve a Problem Like Art Bell is not a problem?

‘Dear Mr.Bell,

Mabuhay!This is to inform you that we have received your letter.It is much appreciated.
We would like you to know that we were not at all offended by your message.
It was so gracious of you to send us such warm words of high value.
Your concern for us has touched our nation’s heart in a very deep place.
Thank you for giving us your time of day.
Peace be with you,kind Sir.May the Lord God Bless and Keep you from harm’s way.
We look forward to hearing from you again.
God Bless you and you can be sure that you shall be included in all our prayers
from now on.

Very Truly Yours,
Filipinos, Luzviminda (from far Apari all the way down to Jolo) and
Filipinos, all over the world

How to Solve a Problem Like The Philippines is not a problem?

Note to Self: First of all, there is everything to solve.
Second of all,there is everything else to solve.
Most of all, there is every other little thing after everything
and everything else to solve.
– Ms. Philippines

How to Solve a Problem Like Everything, everything else and
every other little thing after everything and everything else?

What is there to solve? Who is there who can really tell?
If There are no Filipinos dapat according to Mr. Bell?

How to Solve a Problem Like Filipinos vs. Mr. Art Bell?

There is nothing to solve. The Philippines, a Southeast Asian Nation, is
Imperial Ambassador of His Love.

We forgot to mention,
you have a nice name, hate letter sender.
Really. Has a ring to it that rings quite nicely.

Our Southeast Asian country,Imperial Ambassador of His Love?

Siya nga naman. Kahit munti, hindi biro maging Noypi.
Luna,Hidalgo,kampana ni Padre Damaso (yung obra nung mamang
bayaning iyon na nasa piso),Isang Dipang Tao, Cesar Montano,
Mula sa Puso,ang grupong APO, at si Charice Pempengco.

Filipinos. Nothing to solve and with everything? We Likey.
Oo nga naman. Wow, wow si We.

Let’s forgive the ‘Merkano.Show him charity.
Let’s lovingly forget nalang about his message, totally.

* Sinadya kong hindi gumamit ng perfect English para sa reply letter natin kay Art Bell. Nabasa naman ninyo siguro and hate letter for Filipinos ni Art Bell. This is what Mr. Alfred Yuson would call ‘medyo hermetically sealed’. Pero, with all due respect to my professor sa Creative Writing II- Poetry noong graduate studies istudiying-istudiying saga ko at the Ateneo de Manila University c. noong hindi pumayag ang Keepers of the Canon Law na matuloy ang kasal ko kahit pa may total go signal na galing kay Heavenly Father: nangaling rin ako sa University of Asia and the Pacific. eh, Bedista (San Beda/Bedan) itong si Sir Krip. ;p

Point being: Leave Art Bell in peace. Let us show him that we really practice that ‘give the other cheek’ and let us not pass his letter around  with our responses’until it reaches him’for this -the latter quote- is what the FW: Hate Letter for Filipinos suggests. Why teach Art Bell a lesson? Would something good come out of it? He’ll soon be back to his old ways because he is a: man. ( This has a secret code that stems from gender studies and psychology. However, it also contains humor, my humor. Might not be appreciated by lots but I really can’t please all of you. Not that I want to or have to. It is statement that expresses another message, a message that suggests the use of subtle action and minimal reaction. Best to treat the issue lightly, best to treat the situation lightly.)

Filipinos have said worse and have written worse about Filipinos. We must look at Art Bell as a surprise and golden opportunity.Before we waste our emotions and our anger on ‘a problem like Art Bell’ we must consider the importance of considering the significance of details. Does he have arthritis? Does he have rheumatism? Does he have an illness that requires him to take prescribed medication/s which can affect his mental faculties in a grave way or in grave ways?
Is he a senior citizen? Is it possible that Art Bell might have composed such a letter because he admires our country and he wrote the missive with this goal in his mind, in his spirit, and in his heart ‘I am challenging the Filipino people because I sincerely believe that the Philippines can move ‘far and away’ from being a Newly Industrializing Country (NIC)? I want the Filipinos to know that there is something very clear to me: the Philippines is not a new country.’?

Art Bell is not a problem. There is everything else to problematize, to question, and to solve. The Philippines is a member of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN). Herein, I could simply use ‘Tell The World of His Love’ so that ‘says it all’ becomes what is most likely to follow the main point of what I shall refer to as a sentence in the making. However, I choose to end my ‘ibid.’ with: Dear Filipinos, Let us remember our youth and our JAPAN (Just Always Pray At Night). All great things can be achieved when we continuously strive to take first action on the small things. It is always good to value the importance of details, especially those details belonging to the small things which make wishes of great things and dreams of great things come true.

Broken heartWilted roseBroken heart[I did think about making use of ‘ …which free our contemplative ideas of great things from the oppressive probability of remaining as mere ideas. Freedom gained through the details of small things and the specifications within small things enables and having enabled, the enabler allows (for) the achievement of real great things.] But I am still held captive by a very vindictive external force hence I extend my apologies [in all sincerity] to those who might accuse me of being potentially harmful to our nation’s future, our society, and the world because that I could murder the English language in a manner that attracts following and in a manner that influences others to commit crimes against the English,the British [ there are groups which do fight about English vs. British] the Americans, and the English Language: is highly probable and may be even absurdly possible. Although- now here’s an inspiring thought – there are lots of individuals out there who can argue: Her graduate degree is only from the University of The East, Recto. I am grateful that Filipino humor exists. And Filipino humor at its best? Let me just say,’ United Nations plus United Colors of Benetton plus Toyo equals Amazing Grace Diyos Por Santo Para Lahat Panalo’.

Broken heartBroken heartBroken heartBroken heartBroken heart**** I would like to share that I really did not intend to spend so many years trying to unite all the gifts of God (daw) sa akin, ok? God showed me the meaning of unconditional love c.1999. He showed me just how much he loves me by deciding to send me a man who would marry me because God knows my heart and God saw that all I ever wanted was to be my
first lover’s legal wife and the mother of his children. And God decided, ” All right, dear Francess. I shall not force
you to dedicate your life to the gifts I gave you. I do not want you to know what kind of creation you are, my creation. So here is your Stephen. Go, get married. I want you to be happy because I love you and I want you to remember how much I love you. I can always create another you after 78 years.”
The Keepers of the Canon Law did not appreciate God’s decision. My heart knows that the Keepers were behind why
my “In His Time” was stolen from me inside a confessional box. I am who I am today because the Keepers dared to question God’s love for me. ‘Why must she just marry and live happily ever after in all ignorance and with the bliss of
an ignorance defined by a future of not knowing what kind of your creation she is?”
The Keepers were wrong. The keepers neglected to consider a very important probability statistic: how many decimal points statistic regarding ‘ How sure are we that it cannot follow? Perhaps she will still know even if we do not do this to God and meddle with her relationship with the Lord, and meddle with a truth revealed? It is God’s way of showing Francess the meaning of unconditional love and the Lord’s way of teaching her to love. Who are we to battle with that? How to battle with that?’

People like the Keepers will battle with God because the Keepers are people who refuse to admit that Keepers can ever be wrong and people who refuse to accept defeat.

My heart does not lie because I use my heart to see and I see more than those who should see more but they do not see more. Today, the Keepers are still keeping me hostage. Nothing good shall come of this. Nothing.

I do not speak in riddles. If I seem to speak in riddles, I blame it on the unfortunate individuals who fall under this category: individuals who are bad readers.

I know why sadness does not leave my side. I am not my worst enemy. I told you I have an absurd life. My life should not be this absurd. I wish that God can turn some things around for me against the impossibly rebellious Keepers. If only for the fact that I am a good reader. Broken heartSad smileBroken heart

Broken hearti love you, my dearest eddin bu-eng khoo, my dear eddin khoo Wilted roseBroken heartSad smileBroken heart Wilted roseonly you can read my words and say that i am someone to believe in. even if i am not a super nerd who spends hours training for a spelling contest. even if i cannot climb a coconut tree with my bare hands and my bare feet, ascending by wrapping my arms and legs ’round the trunk of that coconut tree. oh how i pray that God returns my love to me. oh how I pray that God strikes the Keepers soon and after, you’ll come back to me

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Broken heart



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