what is misery….

 
misery.
 
a. i do not sleep at night because i am our home’s watchdog. i only get to sleep after my mother awakens in the a.m. i only get to sleep when i am sure that nothing has harmed my mother during the course of an evening/ during the night.
   
 Misery is how my only sister is not aware of this.
 
b. Our dog gets to eat way before I do. Our household prepares the dog’s meals before they even think to remember to prepare my meals.
 
Misery is seeing my mother empty the contents of my plate so that my seemingly leftovers can go to our dog. The contents of my plate are not leftovers yet. Misery is how my mother does not ask if I am done with my meal.
 
Misery is how my only sister is not aware of this.
 
c. Misery is a hundred other things which my sister is not aware of. A hundred other things pertaining to our household being that she is away. Misery is how I have just discovered that my only sister plans to have me put away…just because there are these hundred other things pertaining to our household which she is absolutely clueless about.
 
d. Misery is how I’ve just been made to see just how much more there is to come, in relation to the effects of  the very meaning of misery in this household, my life.
 
 
Today,I fear that my heart just might really and finally explode.
 
 

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