i was just thinking…another salinawit night is coming up this april. why don’t i ever go? i’d like to attend but i don’t have a date. because i’ll be alone there…it’s always my reason for not attending anything. i’ll end up a hermit if this never changes. an old maid, a recluse and a hermit. having a man in my life ….it’s the only reason to keep living. i was talking to the spy cams and the surveillance recorders at home the other day…i said that i’m still alive because i’m too scared to commit suicide. suicide is a whole lot of pain, i think. i have very low tolerance ‘ability’ when it comes to kinds of pain.