just a little thingie: How my right hand got raped inside a Catholic Church~

 
 
this is the double edged sword for 30 year olds who just happened to have the misfortune of being schooled in the art of writing fiction…damn it. who’ll believe you…well, only those who saw it. Besides, that medicine that you apply to a scar doesn’t peel your skin if your skin ain’t got any defiled or raped skin to heal
 
late june of this year, i decided to embrace my religion. i decided to go back to the catholic church and seek refuge in the house of mr.roman catholic god. the name of the church is Mt. Carmel Church in Quezon City. such an ideal setting for a story that even Stephen King wouldn’t write.
 
 
as my dumb luck would have it, what a coincidence, holy communion was only being offered through that ‘gimme your hand and let’s put it there’…it meaning the holy eucharist.
shock of my dumb darned life, Miss Francess Salaysay Raymundo looks at her right palm an FCUK MOTHERFCUKER FCUK STOOPID PEOPLE OF MR. ROMAN CATHOLIC GOD and some stupid psycho guy thinking he’s such a cute wise guy probably used some vile chemical that ‘stains skin blind’ and my right palm had the perfect impression of the circle of the g*d damn host.
 
OK…so I’m not shitting anyone about this. I scrubbed my palms bloody, morning of the next day….coz that fcukin circle wasa still on my hand.
 
so let me ask you…would you return to a place where your innocent hand….and your pretty innocent self was defiled in that anonymous manner?
 
Man, that was like rape…to me.
 
So…I stopped believing in mr. roman catholic god, my stupid ex-guardian angel, and mr. roman catholic god’s son, mr, roman catholic god’s third, and that lady on the ceiling.
 
I’ve become a very unwilling Graham Greene character. Mr. Roman Catholic God couldn’t save me from having my hand defiled and raped inside his house, there’s no believing in him. What else can’t he do for me…
 
I don’t want to think about it, but everytime I hear those g*ddamn slippers on our street, takes me back to that early evening.
 
The next day, I went to meet a guy who had helped us before but this guy, when I showed him my hand suggested this stupid thing…’ Could it be a stigmata?’ Uhhhh, No. It’s bloody ’cause I scrubbed my hands.
He’s the same guy who quoted lines of my blog to me, such as that ‘weight in gold’ thing.
 
I don’t know what’s up and I don’t want to know….JUST TAKE A HIKE MR. BIG GIANT INSECT  and your sick psycho friends. I’ve just about had enough. I’m not a toughie, as you may know very well..but c’mon…YOU RAPED THE HAND, DAMN YOU.
 
Ask me about religion and I’ll tell you: God left this place a long time ago. Maybe not the whole world, but he left the Philippines, a long time ago.
 
As me about religion and I’ll tell you: I’m definitely anti-Catholic.
 
Here’s your question from me: Wouldn’t you turn anti-Catholic too, if the same thing happened to you?
 
You’d be crazy not to loathe the people of this particular church if it was your hand, your peace and quiet, and your life.
 
I just laughed when I read that Mr. Escudero managed to risk the ire of the bishops. Said to myself…uhh, don’t you go there, pretty boy. men of god might mess with your hand like what happened to me and i wasn’t even saying anything against well..you know what you were talking about. Saintly politicians, huh? Uhuh, sure, if you say so, Mr. Bishop.Rape of my hand was work of….saintly men of the clergy? That’s saintly? I don’t think so.
 
Even the Devil didn’t dare to get to these hands before that day, you know?
 
Hmmmm..I see….I see…. (Fcuk you, all of you…those part of the sick joke being played on me)
 
 I’m sorry but my hand was defiled inside a church and there’s no asking anyone for help.
 
I’m too educated to throw it all away and end up in the looney bin/ mental institution…. because some sick joke was played on me.
 
damn it…kaya nga I chose a school that believes in a God…but it doesn’t say that that God is mr. roman catholic god.
 
motherfcukers.
 
Grabe… Sabi Ko ng DINAIG NIYO PA ANG ‘THE SHINING’, MGA HAYOP KAYO. Tigilan niyo na ako, please.
 
 
Don’t think mr. pretty boy in his 40s will win next year. I doubt it.
 
Ms. Raymundo’s religion was stolen from her. Period. That’s all I’m saying ’cause the scar from the COW BRAND FROM THOSE CATHOLICS is almost gone now.
 
if had wings, will fly…far far far away from here.
 
and i’m shaking my head shaking my head shaking my head…and no Mr. D. Ocampo, my sex is not on fire…
 
gago.
 
 

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