declaration

 

Yes, I do find shelter in something bigger than me.

" You love to hide behind…." < a taunting line from

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And I’m always the girl in distress. I’m tired of being injured.

 

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Sorry. I’m just too fragile to act 40 years old. I’m only nearing my 30s. Besides, I think single and bitter 40 year old women and above 40 years old  are the scary ones.

Force of habit: Years of taking blows from my Dad. Not just blows. He would throw tables and chairs at me. Newspapers and books and bottles, anything he could lay his hands on. He hurled a mini sofa at me and a television.

CAUTION: MUST HIDE BEHIND OR COWER UNDER SOMETHING BIGGER AND SAFE ALWAYS.

He threw drinking glasses at me, and hangers and suitcases. His briefcase he would use to smack me with, till I was bruised all over.

When I was 10, he broke the ancient and priceless Chinese urn which belonged to my grandma on my head just because i was looking for my comb. I wasn’t bothering him.

He’d use his fists to hit my face, to pull my hair, and he almost killed me one night in an attempt to push me down a flight of stairs at home. This was the only time that my Mother screamed for help.

He did this for 16 years.

~0~

Dad couldn’t hit my mother. So he used me for anger management. He never hit my sister. She looks just like him.

I was a battered child and an abused child.

~0~

I am not a coward but I prefer white flags or doves.

~0~

another ironic thing about me: you’d think I would hate all men, because of my shitty Dad.

but no. i only hate those who try to injure me in the way that my Dad used to> any form of this kind of treatment.

how i wish the world would be kinder to me someday.

 Toodles for now until I am well enough to smile for a camera again.

>>>>>>>> x <little kiss> >>>>   

 f.

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